It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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