I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
