Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
