You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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