It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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