i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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