Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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