Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No I am not eating basil off your cock
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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