as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
