So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
