Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
