I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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