I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
