Sacagawea was the original milf.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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