pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
