whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
