return my video game
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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