Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Randomize
