i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
