Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
