At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
