Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
