You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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