Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
