we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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