okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Come see our sink grown plant.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
