I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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