On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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