i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
