It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
