I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
