I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
