morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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