She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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