My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
