Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
