have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
