he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
