so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
