so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
