You're completely useless in the revolution.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
