I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
