We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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