just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Let's get the cat blown out
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
