he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
