I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My vagina just recognized that song.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
