i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
