Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
