i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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