i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
